The Gay Family

Not 'marriage' or 'family' as the term has been used/misused for generations, rather a bond between two human beings. For me, the Pope states clearly that a bond and commitment made in love is worthwhile.

Marriage as Instrument of Salvation: God's gift to us of marriage and family life enables us to experience something of the infinite love that unites the three divine persons: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Human beings, made in the image and likeness of God, are made for love; indeed at the core of our being, we long to love and to be loved in return. Marriage is truly an instrument of salvation, not only for married people but for the whole of society. Like any truly worthwhile goal, it places demands upon us, it calls us to be prepared to sacrifice our own interests for the good of the other. It requires us to exercise tolerance and to offer forgiveness. It invites us to nurture and protect the gift of new life .... I encourage all of you in your efforts to promote a proper understanding and appreciation of the inestimable good that marriage and family life offer to human society.

General Address, May 5, 2010 (from The Virtues, Pope Benedict XVI)

Though he may not agree, and suggest that my reading of his words are not 'proper', i have to fully agree with everything Benedict says. Though not married, in my thoughts, words and actions i approach my relationship in the verysame way. Who would begrudge a human being and human society committing, sustaining and knowing this very love for which we have been created?

I'll not cast the first stone.

Deo gratias.

Persistence in Asking, Knocking and Seeking

Persistence.

And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened (Lk 11:9-10).

Seems like i have been asking all my life; i have received much, but perhaps i was not asking the right questions or i was not listening because the answer was not one i was ready to accept.

Seems like i have been seeking all my life; i have found great and wondrous things, but still find myself seeking. In pride i might say i am persistent, but i know better. Never content? Hunting the new? In a time and place of such great wealth and comfort, my seeking has become self-interested, like the Buddhist's hungry ghost who is fat with greed but with such a small mouth that he can never satiate his hunger.

Seems like i have been knocking all my life, but truly, on the wrong doors.

In pride i might say i am persistent, yet i know better to accept snakes and scorpions from the wicked and insolent. There have been many doors which have allowed me to rest under rich fruit trees on the banks of glorious rivers. I have found enough to inspire me and keep me asking questions ... hopefully, the right questions.

How much more will the Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him? (Lk 11:13) I do not presume to know what the Lord shall give, but age has humbled me. When someone knocks on my door, i will try with mindfulness and faith to open the door and greet my guest with the same smile as i would the Lord Himself (Blessed is the servant of the Lord St. Alphonsus Rodriguez!)

Deo gratias.

Little True Need

There is need of few things, saith the Lord in yesterday's reading (Lk 10:43) on the feast of St. Francis of Assisi. "To need" is often used in English to mean 'desire', but seems to mean more to want, to be without something. In the West we need so much: a new dress, a new car, the latest iPod, more attention, better this, more of that. Our needs seem to define our culture ... but the joke is on us. Our world becomes one of need, thus we are literally always in a state of craving, grabbing, chasing and consuming without ever being truly satiated.

But we actually need so little. I'm a fan of St. Francis, who defied family, culture and personal comfort (whether crazy or not) and chose for a basic, no-frills life in communion with God. He chose a life of material poverty over spritual richness. Poor?

We need so little. Christ reminds us of what is truly important to life of faith and hope and charity. And men like St. Francis lived this life free of want, being grateful for always having enough and no more.

Deo gratias.

Forgiveness, Guilt and Free Will

An Israeli friend comments on guilt: One has to have a little. You get used to it after a time.
Another friend: No, i don't like feeling guilt [so i try to avoid the feeling by trying not to do that which gives me guilt, a.k.a. sin].
Israeli: It's part of life.
Me: That's a danger, accepting and getting used to guilt. Like anything else, with time and repetion you'll feel it less. It might even take more unhelpful behaviour to actually to notice that 'guilty feeling' again. One doesn't have to just live with it, me thinks.

At this point i think i lost him. But i continue: Wouldn't it be better to avoid the bad feelings of guilt by simply checking your behaviour? Become aware that the fire is hot and avoid burning yourself: Not sinning? No guilt. And if it is, as you say, part of life, then couldn't you choose to walk a path to minimalise it? To walk in awareness of your choices, avoiding the words and acts that cause the feelings of guilt?

Half my audience was lost.

The other smiles.

Free will means free to choose and accepting the consequences of one's choices: only children and the mad are excepted by this society. To continually choose what is not perhaps in one's best interests and live with the consequences day in and day out, seems an unnecessary burden. To surrender and accept the burden and its harvest of guilt as simply a part of life we all share, seems mad to me! At least, it seems worthy of serious introspection. No ... Whether accepted cultural histories or lazy resignation or fear of change, we can change. The power to choose is free. Forgiveness can remove the yolk of our past. Grace can allow us to shine anew. Love can pick us up after we have fallen down, again and again and again if necessary. Contrite. Repentant. Resolute. Accepting guilt as a part of life? I believe that all the choices we make in a lifetime define us. Getting used to guilt? Good news! At each moment we are welcome to start anew, through God's love.

Deo gratias.