Personal Struggle

St. Paul says to the Romans (7:18):
For I do not do the good I want,
but I do the evil I do not want.

An internal struggle for control. Why bother, one might think. Get up in the morning, do the daily routine, have a laugh if possible and to bed. In this manner we can pass many milestones without really giving life any thought. Why think about life? Just do it. Does it all have to be so complicated?

But when i look at the world, however perfect i choose to see it, there is much of mankind's influence that isn't perfect. Surrendering, protesting, seeking revenge, ignoring the bad, feeding the self with comfort food and televison and/or pretending that it's all more or less fine, can get people through the day. I call that delusional. Selfish, too. If i can be a better man, better for my neighbours, better to the planet, why shouldn't i be? It is a choice.

An active choice, but not an easy one.

St. Paul struggles for control. He says it is worthwhile. An animal lives off its instincts. A man has reason. And illuminating us, Jesus is the greatest teacher, showing mankind the Way, how to life a fully human life on Earth. It wasn't easy: his human suffering and crucifixtion at the hand of one's brothers. But worthwhile! St. Paul says we will make many mistakes, but through perserverence and the grace of God, a good life is fully within our powers if we apply them to our daily life, moment to moment. Good news, no? Reason enough to learn from one's mistakes and motivating one to push beyond the lowest common denominator of modern society.

Deo gratias.

Acts of Faith in a Material World

Asperges me hysopo, et mundabor: lavabis me, et super nivem dealbabor.
(Thou shalt purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: Thou shalt wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow)

Today St. Paul invites us to imitate him, and thus, to imiate Christ. To imitate not in faith, but in acts. Only through one's acts in this material world can we be seen for who we are. One might believe what he choses, but i cannot see what you believe. Be not hearers, but doers, says St. James, do not look into a mirror to know yourself, rather, look at the Truth in Chirst, His law, the law of liberty, and be not hearers who forget, but doers who create wonderful things on Earth, the fruit of love, compassion, joy and harmony (Jms 1:17-25). Thus, if our minds are occupied with earthly things, hungers, lusts, selfish needs, then how can our faith be strong? We are distracted. We shall always gaze at greener pastures with want or anger and not see our neighbours, not raise our eyes to the Eternal. We shall always be grubbing in the muck hoping for more, grumbling about the weight others have us bare, plotting our next revenge, fearful of pain and earthy suffering because it all seems so real.

St. James warns us of our own Self-ish desires. Ego whispers its needs. The Self that ego has invested so much into lures and entices: i need that, i am wanting and deserve this, i come before those others because i am bigger, richer, more famous, more powerful, etc. St. James states clearly that giving into this desire creates sin. Action, reaction. We create in thought, word and deed. If our motive is greed, we become greedy. If our motive is lust, we create more lust and desire and it becomes part of us. Sin? We create distance from the Truth that is God. St. James evens states that upon repetition, when we come to own this desire and its satiation, we give birth to death. A light goes out. Our distance from the Truth is far and we come to spend the rest of our time on Earth feeding our own desire (Jms 1:12-16)

In short, we are lost in ourselves or egoism. The result? Easy to see; just look around you on any city street.

Whoever loves his life, loses it, says Jesus. If one loves this world and one's Self with so much clinging, how can you let go when death comes? All life on Earth ends; what is born shall die. Buddha said this world is an illusion. Christ says 'whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life'; seeing through the illusion and truly understanding what it means to live in this material world, one can know a glimmer of the truth that comes after death, me thinks. All mortal flesh returns to the cycle of life and death, compost, the eco-system that is tied to this world. But there is more!

Listen and act, not selfishly, but in imitation of those who have produced God's fruit. And like a worthy apprentice journeyman working under a Master (yes, with perserverence i too will find feet upon which to stand on my own like a great Tree of Life for those around me): I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth (Ps 34:1)

Magnificat anima mea Dominum
(Magnify the Lord with me, the Magnificat, Ps 34:3)

Deo gratias