Anger

One of those tough afternoons alone.
Doubt gives deceptive comfort.
And then i thought about anger.

I always wondered how the Son of God could get angry. Angry enough to storm into the Temple and overturn tables, stalls, flipping money all over the place and shouting, insulting and accusing men. Middle Eastern men, who i still find have quite a temprament ... to put it mildly.

Jesus did.

Like all great teachers who lead us when we need leading, they trust us. Always. Never giving up that trust that is love. These teachers know us better than we know ourselves. They look right through whatever game we having going on and smile. They know and still they are willing to teach us.

Jesus is.

So back to the temple, the riot that results from one man's actions. One teacher's actions. If a gentle man in robes and some very nice talk about peace, etcetera, were to stroll into the temple yard and begin upsetting businesses, Sanctified and Holy businesses, how would they react? Dumbfounded? Annoyed? A mad man: best just let him get along with is illness until the police arrive. Would they be open to this gentle man's words?
But come in angery. Outrage and conviction. Raising his voice even above the outrage and conviction of those Middle Eastern men. That would take a lot of volume. And unwaivering certainty. Power. Command. What teacher does not use all the tools he has to get his point across? The lesson shall be taught, but not from a scroll, but in anger! What student did not get angry too? At accusation, punishment and pointing out an impossible error! So unfair.

And later the shame. And the knowledge. And the growth.

I smile. Good work, teacher.

Deo gratias.

Blessed

Benedictus qui venit in nomine Domine, Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord (Lk 13:35). Jesus says we will not see him until we can say this. Until then, our house will be abandoned. Frightful stuff, me thinks. Who wants to live in an abandoned house?

But if i can get down off my self-involved high horse and truly see Christ in all humanity, see the light of Life emanating from their person, whether friend, stranger or enemy, and extend to them a helping hand, say a kind word, be there for a fellow human even if i might feel unwelcomed, unwanted, uncomfortable, even then, i shall know Christ is present. The Lord is present, indeed always present. And without expecting rewards, my reward shall be a blessing. Let my house become a home.

Oremus:
I would like to offer a prayer, perhaps a pithy prayer, to those whom i feel have wronged me in traffic. Lord, they do not know what they have done, lost as they are in their own cocoons of self-interest, egoism, stress and anger. But so too is my prayer for my own unworthy reaction, that i not accept their unwanted gift of anger, stress, egoism and retreat into my own self-interest. Like an infection anger spreads. I say no thank-you to their gift. I let it go and I forgive them and remain calm, full of hope that they might realise the high cost of their own behaviour. Bless them Lord. Amen.

Deo gratias.  

The Last comes First

Expectations. We all suffer from them. Jesus tells us in so many words that we would be better off without expectations: just do one's best to love God and neighbour and leave the rewards to the Lord. A slap in the face to those who think their righteousness shall pay off. A kick in the shins to those who fully expect rewards based on their own perfect behaviour. We think we're doing well and then someone else points out our faults? So much heavy emotion that leads us to censorship, anger and violence, bold acts of human weakness, pettiness and misunderstanding, we expect so much of ourselves.

Though we expect to come in first, we might be last. Though we expect to come in last, we might very well be last. Or not. An expectation is like a free ticket. What do we do with a free ticket? Pride and self-righteousness. Laziness and carelessness. I think Jesus' message is 'be aware'. Be aware of pride, of one's each thought, word and deed and its affect on others, of God's laws, of one's own motivations. There is so much to be aware of that we can be blinded by expectations. And having worked hard (and you know when you've done it), you might even be surprised by the rewards.

Oremus:
I'd like to pray for those elderly who live in isolation. Among us, many are not seen, not greeted, not acknowledged as they eek out a living on meager pensions and savings. They find little support from governments who have other more important agendas than to give comfort the elderly: we, the voters, have put these politicians in power, so we too, must feel some responsibility to cutbacks on senior social services. Alone, they suffer. Alone, we would all suffer, but our ego cannot place us in their shoes because we imagine that such a life of hopelessness, waiting to die, burdened by health problems, this could never happen to us. Isolation kills. Humanity needs each other. I pray that i can at least forget myself and reach out more to those elderly around me, to say 'hello' and smile and offer a helping hand if need be. Amen.

Deo gratias.

The Kingdom of Heaven

What is the Kingdom of Heaven like?
It transforms the small into the great. It makes the seemingly insignificant indispensible. A joy, delicious, Heaven is all things in this material life upon which we trust: shade from an indifferent sun and our daily bread.

Of course, human language is not able to describe that which the mind cannot know. The Buddha described 'heaven' and 'God' as something that must be individually experienced to know, and having been there, no description with words from a mortal can translate it. It must be known. But so few make the sustained effort to approach the only worthwhile goal in a man's existence.

Can we know Heaven?

Perhaps, perhaps not. But simply and earnestly working for a heaven on Earth, like a simple seed that grows to provide shelter for many beings, is worthwhile. Or transforming what is inedible into the delicious and nutritious food that can feed many beings, is worthwhile. By selflessly helping others, again and again and again, we can get closer to God. And by getting closer, we might even get a glimpse of Heaven.

Oremus:
I'd like to pray today for a psychiatric patient who has lost the way once again: the sickness possesses her reason, her ability to care for herself, drives her into extreme selfishness, rage, she is not the person she once was. I pray for her recovery, for her doctors and care-givers, that her demon shall be driven away. Amen.

Deo gratias.