Freedom to Follow God

"Saul has slain his thousands,
and David his ten thousands." (1 Sam 18:7)

This song is not going to please a king. His position, his respect are threatened. And when threatened, what do people do? Lash out, defend themselves, fear will drive a man to violence and King Saul is no exception, just as i am no exception.

Knowing this, however, i can be aware when this demon raises its ugly head. Being aware, i can choose how i react.

In a homily on today's bible reading of King Saul and young David, of kingship and attachment to power, status and material wealth, i read the following:
The things of this world can be tools or chains. If we use them as our servants, they will be tools. If we let our attachment to them cause us to be afraid at the thought of losing them, they will be chains. Whatever you are attached to: technology, position, getting ‘A’s, a television show, having a certain standard of wealth, a relationship with a person, whatever, do not let the attachment bind you.
   What motive lies behind every sin? An attachment that we refused to break. Be stronger than these attachments. Be free, radically free. There is no feeling of power like letting go. Every attachment screams: “You cannot live without me. You will never be happy if you leave me behind.” We know this is a lie. Our happiness does not exist in any of these things. Our happiness is in God. Be ready at all times to cut off an attachment that is preventing you from doing what you ought to do. Sacrifice everything, but be free to follow God. daily homilies

I think the Buddha smiles at this lesson on dhamma, on letting go of attachment and on awareness. Following the path to God is usually not what one expects. Not the easiest road. Not the safest road. But the only road worth following, me thinks.

Oremus:
I pray that through awareness and all the gifts given to me that i may with each step choose to follow God. I pray that He alone will judge me as getting closer to re-union with the divine, coming home. Amen.

Deo gratias.

Am i a Pharisee?

"Is it lawful to do good on the sabbath rather than to do evil,
to save life rather than to destroy it?"
But they remained silent.
Looking around at them with anger
and grieved at their hardness of heart,
Jesus said to the man, "Stretch out your hand."
He stretched it out and his hand was restored.
The Pharisees went out and immediately took counsel
with the Herodians against him to put him to death. (Mk 3:4-6)

I come across a lot of hardened hearts. And more often than not, when i find myself in an inflexible situation, when i am aware of anger's rising, i notice my own heart hardened. Am i a Pharisee? In my daily life there are many rules by which i work, ride my bike, talk to friends and strangers. So many expectations built up over the years like sedimentation. It hardens. The rituals of daily life become ruts on the road i travel: working with the elderly, i notice how important these routines can be to one's mood, security and even sanity.

Am i a Pharisee? How do i answer Jesus' question? As a Christian i say 'do good' and 'save life' without a thought, but do i actually do this? Doing good should be spontaneous and natural. If one catches the Self double thinking a situation, doubting, justifying or what have you, then the natural spontaneity of goodness is crushed. 'Kill or be killed' say the Survivours. 'Survival of the fittest' say the Darwinists. There is no room for goodness. To live a full life, to live a life as a human being, we have to prevent our hearts from hardening as Jesus instructed every day of His life. A newborn, a child, a teacher who lived as he taught, a condemned man offering his life up to those who condemned him, each day doing good and saving lives. Am i up to the task?

My immediate answer, without listening to that hardened fearful expectation-enriched ego, is Yes!

Oremus:
I pray for awareness of any hardening of my heart, that i may let expectations and fears go and abandon my Self to the will of the Holy Ghost in the service of Goodness and Life. I pray for forgiveness for all the times i have acted as a Pharisee, when i have condemned someone through choosing evil and death. Amen.

Deo gratias.