On Impermanence

Jesus abides in safety out in the dessert, temporarily free from those who would now punish him, kill him, dispose of his inconvenient presence among the Roman occupied Israelites. I think of the political leaders today, evasive, squabbling, responsible to their electors for maintaining their own power and status and perhaps even feeling responsible for the welfare of their own countries, nations and families. Some may be good men (why are you laughing?), though most seem to be corrupt, others are liars, and still others are weak men pandering to lobbies and wealthy family interests. Yet, they are like us in that they are solely bent on maintaining the status quo, that conventional reality that is life as we know it through our fathers and our father's father.

We don't really want to change at all, do we?

I think of smokers. No nutritional value in smoking, in fact it costs a lot of money, especially for those who have trouble with unemployment, poverty, etc. Now look at the costs of treating lung cancer and heart disease. Now put warnings on the boxes. Death! Harmful! I often see our safe and predictable lives, however delightful or imperfect, as this kind of addiction. This conventional reality is all we know, routine, familiar and created by our Self. We have made choices that put us in our reality here and now. And now someone is telling me that i must change? Even if it might mean discomfort? Realignment? Death?

The Jewish leaders of the Sanhedrin are conservatives. All that they are and all that they know is at stake with the inconvenient appearance of the Son of Man. It's bad enough that their lands are occupied by foreign armies, but over the generations they have come to accept this and now have a sweet deal with the governor: division of power, ample wealth, a degree of religious freedom.

Why on earth would we want to change all that we know and have built?

I think of Ayn Rand author of The Fountainhead (a much recommended book for all novice architects as a lesson in grooming ones ego and arrogance!). Ayn said that 99% of society is lead by the other 1%, who must drag the rest into the future against their will. I agree with her on this observation. Buddhism declares with anicca (impermanence) that nothing is permanent and that through the web of cause and effect, everything changes and nothing remains the same: babies grow into men, mountains are worn down by water and galaxies spiral across the universe. Change defines mankind and thus his own conventional reality must also change. Failing to accept change can be disastrous and failing to read the signs of the times can lead to upheavals and conflict very much like the coming of the Christ.

In the days before the Passover we see a world on the brink of transformation. Looking back we can say with hindsight that they should have known better. I ask myself however, am i today, at this very moment, aware of the signs of change? Am i sitting in front of the tv and resisting change like the 99% or am i involved in the change, shaping it, nurturing it, teaching it, as are the other 1%? Am i nodding in agreement to the fears expressed by the Sanhedrin leaders, believing that this conventional, earthly reality we share is the best and can never be changed? Or am i mediating on the Ultimate reality together with Jesus, in silence, away from the political noise, listening for the will of God, source of Love, Light and Life for all that is?

The world as we know it is always collapsing, whether we like it or not. The question is, do we together work with this necessary collapse, shaping it, designing it, nurturing it as architects of a glorious renewal of heaven on earth?

Deo gratias. 

Believe In Good Works

At one time i desired to get closer to God, but in His church i only saw jabbing fingers, threats, cold shoulders and turned backs. Though i tried to reap goodness from the gospel, there were too many conflicts between faith and hope and charity and being a sinner, sinning and damnation. I walked away.

Yet, i could never entirely leave. When travelling i always first visited the local cathedral. My camera seemed to be regularly focused on christian art, the saints, the divine and the holy. I knew love in my relations and knew the behaviour of people who didn't try in love, who had given up, who became locked in Selfishness. I saw good works between men and for society and I knew God was present here and now.

Today Jesus asks us to believe his works. Perhaps we doubt the man and his words, but truly see the work of his own hands before making a decision. Seeing love and knowing how it can improve someones life can be a revelation. Even the simplest task, when freely given, without expectation, unconditionally, can create something magic between men. For example, helping that little old woman across the busy street. Smiles and thanks and expanding hearts appear where before there had been Self preoccupation and anxiety.

Compassion and charity practised by us lets us know Creation. And so, God smiles and nods and whispers 'Here i am', me thinks. However practised, no matter by whom or where in the world, compassion is human, love is divine. Where there is goodness and Love there is God.

I got tired of walking away and making excuses for keeping my door shut. I came to enjoy being outside the box, that box of societal norms and values that keep us separated from each other and locked in Selfishness.

I now believe in the works. In humbleness i submit my Self to a Teacher who means to show me the truest path to Love. There will always be jabbing fingers, threats, cold shoulders and turned backs in a society that has lost paradise, has forgotten its true nature, who separates itself from the godhead. My Teacher shows me how to respond to these inconveniences, these threats. 'Here i am Lord, your servant listens', i say. I know what i have to do: the greatest challenge is doing it. And thus, through my own works, our good works, can we change the world and restore Paradise. Maybe not today, but there is no time like the present to start.

Lord, forgive me my tardiness, show me grace for all my errors and be merciful to a sinner trying to wash off the grime and muck of unfruitful paths.

Deo gratias.

I AM

Jesus tells us once again who he is: those who have ears, let them hear, me thinks. Again the rigid tie to the reality the Jews have known for hundreds of years. Would i believe? Would i doubt? Would i choose to want to harm the man who claimed himself to be the son of God, one with God, perhaps even God Himself?

Today a Dominican homily tells us: To Jewish ears, this phrase – ‘I am’ - is straightforwardly a divine title: it is the ineffable and mysterious divine name, יהוה, the term used by God to refer to Himself, revealed by God to Moses in the burning bush (Exodus 3:14), and considered by the Jewish people too holy to be spoken aloud. (godzdogz)

Too holy for human lips made of the stuff of this material existence, how can i even understand His name let alone attempt to speak it? This reminds me of Hindu ideas of ultimate reality, that God and i and you and all existence are One, ideas shared by such holy men as Sri Nisargadatta Mahara (I Am That, his collected works). 'I am' contains the universe, it is a declaration of being, of consciousness.

I am.

When we learn a new language, how often do we sit with the conjugation of the verb To Be? Remarkable too, is that only the present tense is used. Now. Always present. Existence is important, even to a zen Buddhist who lives with his understanding of Emptiness ... an emptiness that contains the whole universe and is graphical described by the single dramatic painted circle O of Enso.

Whether to be or not to be, ponders Hamlet.

I am.

Through the affirmations that God is and Jesus is, i can know too, that i am. And knowing that the Christ did not die on the cross, but rose and is eternally present in the Holy Spirit, allows me to know that i too, am a part of this universal One, sharing in the Trinity, sharing in existence.

Deo gratias.

True Freedom and Ultimate Reality

If you remain in my word, you will truly be my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. (Jn 8:31-32)

There i have it. Believe in the Truth of the Christ, believe in Love, and i shall know the Truth, and thus living in the Truth i shall be free.

Yet belief alone will not make me his disciple for i am asked to remain present in His teachings: love thy neighbour, the meek shall inherit the Earth, Virtues, Beatitudes, forgiveness, grace, all the gospels offer mankind. Being present in His teachings demands vigilance, perseverance and the moment to moment discipline of mindfulness. The path is indeed, straight and narrow. To be a disciple of the Christ demands a freely given willingness to rise above the life that we see around us, to not blindly accept that practical reality that is modern man's perceived freedom, a lesser truth, a so-called 'conventional truth'. There is no freedom in doing those things that limit me and hinder others in their re-union with the Father, the One, the source of Love itself.

The kind of freedom Christ offers in the ultimate Truth must be personally experienced.

Easier said than done.

Deo gratias.

His World Truth

You belong to this world, but I do not belong to this world. That is why I told you that you will die in your sins. (Jn 8:23)

To which world do i belong?

Sin, all that separates me from the Divine and ties me to this world. Am i so preoccupied with my own safety and comfort, my own status and public image that i fail God and doom myself to a lesser life and a worldly death? Behold Paradise! Birds sing and the trees become vivid green in the sunshine! Yet, mechanical noise and pollution, poverty, aggression, all the stress and distraction, avarice and aversion, they seem to be the reality of urban life. Is this my reality? Heaven and Earth separated? Is this the truth of my being?

Wisdom says no. 'On Earth as it is in Heaven' ... with the knowledge of unconditional love here and now, i know a tightening of the heart, tears of joy and loss, a special energy, a renewal of passion to serve all. A indescribable power floods me. There is another Truth. The Christ affirms this for all mankind, again and again and again. Faith and a willingness to be in that Truth here and now, however worldly my situation, lifts me from the muck and shows me that place in which the Lord dwells. I know there is more, but like the Pharisees, have i become so hardened that i no longer see life and living as magic, a brilliant and inexplicable mystery, a Truth in which i know i share a place with the Son of Man in grace and mercy, in the Holy Spirit?

To which world to i choose to belong?

There is a choice. Mary said 'yes', we heard at the Annunciation. Am i strong enough to say 'yes' too?

And having said 'yes' am i strong enough to persevere?

I wont know unless i try. May God be with me in His grace and love as i stand and fall, as i make my way through this world ... living and dying in His World Truth.

Deo gratias.

A Simple Grain of Wheat

The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Amen, amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit.
Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life. (Jn 12:24-25)
During today's mass it dawned on me that not only Jesus is the grain of wheat, transformed into a Eucharistic bread that must be consumed to feed humanity, but that i, too, am the grain of wheat. There is no death upon falling to the earth, but rather transformation: roots, leaves feeding from the sun and eventually bursting into many, many new grains to propagate and feed.

Transformed.

And interconnected. That grain can only grow in the Earth's soil and water, fed by the morning star, tended and harvested by farmers, milled by millers, baked into bread by bakers, transported to market by tradesmen ... well you get the point. We all rely on so many factors but often forget to give thanks to each and every step of the way, including the beginning and the end, the alpha and the omega, a complex and magnificent cycle that is all part of Creation, of God.

If we cling to this life, our own life as we see it, we cannot grow beyond the confines of our own mind. At our death, the preoccupied egocentric mind is gone. The fruits of our labours and loins, build this world and its population, but after thousands of years there is still oceans of suffering: pain, isolation, separation, doubt. The Buddhists see this worldly life as an illusion, while Jesus suggests we 'hate' this worldly life, though perhaps without aversion, rather hating it with passionate wisdom. Just say 'NO' to suffering, to turn a phrase. The life we lead within our own box is Self-centred. One is a grain of wheat that has potential, but unwilling to surrender itself, it remains merely a thing on the ground underfoot. If however, we allow our-Selves to grow, open our own doors and allow the Light to nurture us, fill us, guide us, enrich us, then we might very well put down roots and soar upwards, becoming more than just a thing on the ground, but life itself, part of the cycle, feeding and protecting, instructing and glorifying All there is. The physical suffering of this earthly existence, that erodes our foundations like relentless waves upon a shore, will not vanish, but can become less of a torment and burden. The suffering we experience in our minds, however, like fear and doubt, can lift like mist before the morning sun.

Like the Greeks of today's gospel, i am tempted to want to see Jesus. I've heard about him, am impressed and would like to chat with him, perhaps even debate with him or touch him, before i commit to any change of heart. Knowing my Self, even then, the water might be too cold, too deep, too choppy, too whatever to take the plunge. No, i do not need to see Jesus to appreciate the wisdom of His words. The gift of reason challenges me to open my own door to the Light of Love and grace. Unhappy about suffering? The message is clear. The instructions are accessible to all. Just Do It and see for yourself.

The first signs of germination reward my faith: indeed, my faith is the grain of wheat too, growing higher and stronger and healthier as my perseverance of practise grows. Love and Peace are rewards. The need to cling to the needs of my mind diminishes. Fears ebb. Though i may be just a simple grain of wheat, my life, like that of the wheat and Christ, is eternal in God. How can i not want to give thanks?

Deo gratias.