Spreading the Good News

How much of the news we see on tv or read in the papers is bad news? Sensationalistic, blood and guts journalism that scares us back to the comfort of our own homes, or it is just so much doom and gloom that we feel helpless in the face of a great and looming darkness that threatens to envelop the world? Scandals and brutality, how much of the news has us jabbering knee-jerk opinions or parroting the opionions of others? Micro-fiber and satellite broadcasting bring the grief and suffering of those on the other side of the planet into our lives; horrid, yes, but 'what am i supposed to do about it?' now?

The apostles are hauled up before their peers and interrogated and threatened and commanded not to speak of that which has changed their lives forever. The majesty of Jesus' presence seems to be on the brink of sliding back into the days of hopelessness and suffering that were ordinary life under earthly kings and oppressive laws. The disciples of the Christ are wandering about, questioning his deeds and methods and wisdom. In shock, they see him, yet do not recognise him.

Yet their hearts burn with his passion, the very same Truth that attracted them, held them and taught them to stand up after they fell and fell again. This same Truth now empowers simple fishermen to stand before the illustrious high priests of their Jewish heritage, to praise the greatness of the Christ and to say 'no'. Human eyes need light to see, in darkness we are blind. So too, we need Love, faith and hope and charity, to do good and to be free. As anyone who has ever loved knows, ones heart feels as if the body is too small to contain it. So too, the apostles, cannot be silent. The Truth fills them. Their old reality seems to have fallen away for good; there is no going back. They know only one God, His Christ, who now fills them with a Truth so great and so profound that silence is impossible, because sharing this Truth and having others be freed from the chains of their lesser truth and daily suffering, is goodness, is Love. Nothing else matters. Nothing else is worthy of concern.

The high priests can't see this, as they still only fear for their own personal positions in the lesser reality that is all they know. The news we watch on tv or read about in the papers today more often than not keeps us tied to fear and insecurity. Suffering will always be among us ... if you see it that way. Is the gospel threatening? It should be! Is the gospel challenging? Yes. Is it madness? It can look that way, certainly. Is it news-worthy? The apostles seem to think so. And though the text is dated and the setting ancient, the idea of Love here and now, ever present, inviting one to stand and join God in loving Creation, in conquering the hold of fear, the lie of separation and the false king of Self-interest, this good news simply cannot be contained! Once the Absolute Truth is glimpsed, tasted and embraced, any conventional reality seems to dry up, fade away and vanish in the morning sunlight as if it were an illusion. Simple fishermen stand as free men before the leaders of their day with the message that the Christ, killed and now resurrected, has come to free all men. Good news, indeed.

Drowning in negative media? Deafened by too much hot air and gossip? Blinded by manipulated images? This is the news of our conventional reality, a reality tied to suffering, a reality that needs suffering to justify itself and keep us locked in fear, isolation and powerlessness. The apostles now say, as Jesus had always said, let go of this reality and choose a new one. A greater reality. God's reality. A reality that does not deny suffering, but rather sees it from a different light and reaches out fearlessly to embrace, not exclude. 'What am i supposed to do about it?' i ask myself.

God knows.

Deo gratias.

Repent, Therefore, and Be Converted

"Repent, therefore, and be converted", says St. Peter to the crowds gathered to listen(Acts 3:19). Commitment to conversion, repentance or just following the Way, i wonder aloud in prayer just how much of my old Self am i willing to leave behind? How far am i willing to go in fulfilling Jesus' invitation to love all mankind in His name?

Most people react indignantly and adversely to anyone who is 'holier than thou', yet i am asked to be just that, namely to turn from my evil ways. I see the immediate danger of evil as that which creates distance from the godhead, from Love. Like the slow accumulation in sedimentation or the flash destruction in natural disasters, evil closes doors and burns bridges. The more one submits (or chooses) to evil (or sin, that is, the Selfish choice), the greater the separation from God becomes.

It is not irreversible, we are told by Jesus, for our sins can be wiped away! Through grace and baptism, through repentance / conversion and vigilance, each one of us can restore the connection we now have with God and get closer. All evil can be undone if we call it out for what it is, if we truly regret our unhelpful choices, if we try to make up for the accumulation of sin by choosing good in thoughts and words and especially deeds. Many saints are a brilliant examples of this, like St. Ignatius or St. Francis of Assisi. Forgiveness gives us room to breath. Grace gives us the capacity to love ourselves enough to bravely take the 'narrow path'. Faith more strength. Hope more determination.

On this narrow path there is little room for baggage ... and all that the ego would use to weaken our commitment, to lessen our faith, to trip us up and have us return to easier paths, more familiar paths ... these character traits of 'who i am' must be left behind. Friends and family and all who 'knew' that old Self will resist change. My change brings their own being into question. And most people resist change, especially when the change is confrontational or inconvenient to their own life-styles: how quickly do we then get branded 'holier than thou', when all we want to do is grow as human beings!

How far am i willing to go in accepting Jesus' invitation? Perhaps i might better notice my own path and count my own small steps. If i start by examining my motivations, being mindful of my choices, the path will be clearer. Overly cautious? Timid? Perhaps, but i believe in the process of change. Peter could not walk on water even as Jesus was present to aid him, yet only after crucifiction, resurrection and an appearance before the disciples did the apostle have the faith and courage to heal and speak in public in the name of Christ. There are those who transform in an instant, but i am not one of them. However, by walking the Way, pilgrim in life, together with church and Christ and Love, i believe that the slow accumulation of a lifetime of evils great and small can reversed, limited and eventually ... well, let's just say the threshold has been adjusted and the door can once again swing open to let the light shine in.

Deo gratias.

On the Road with Jesus

I work with people with traumas and know that how they think can be seriously impaired. Delusions and paranoia are not uncommon. Anxiety and concentration disorders are not uncommon. Today we hear at mass that Peter and John are leaving Jerusalem, perhaps fleeing for their lives, or in need of space to fully get their heads around the death of the Messiah. We don't know. But we do know that they fail to recognise Jesus on the road.

Sounds a bit ridiculous to my modern ears. They have spent so much time with him, sharing in the miracles, eating and sleeping and working together for months, yet just days after his execution they cannot see with whom they walk. Granted, the man has just died so they don't expect him to be out and about. As i mentioned, they are probably traumatised or at least in a state of serious grieving having not only lost a friend and teacher, but the Son of Man, the Son of God. Thus, they might be preoccupied. Jesus too, might not have looked familiar: we don't know this either as there is no physical description. I learn from the catechism on the resurrection:

"We believe in the true resurrection of this flesh that we now possess". We sow a corruptible body in the tomb, but he raises up an incorruptible body, a "spiritual body" (CCC 1017).

Perhaps then the two men were blinded by their grief. However, when they later allow their guest to break bread with them their eyes are opened. Before them is the Christ, arisen. Before them is their Teacher, who had just spent the hours on the road explaining scripture. As if to remind them once again, he takes the break, blesses it and breaks it: Take this, all of you, and eat of it: For this is my body which will be given up for you ... do this in memory of me (institution narrative, Eucharistic prayer).

Would i recognise Christ if he were to meet and walk with me on my path? My own Self-interest blinds me to so much, of that i confess. To monitor my Self, my words, my deeds, my thoughts, i am better able to be present in every situation, especially when it involves another human being. Do i see them for as they are? Or am i only seeing what i need to see, what i want to see? Funny. I wonder how many times i have walked with Christ, listened to God and not heard, not seen, not responded. Sometimes i think that if i choose to see Christ everywhere, God in everyone, to consider what i am asked to do in His name (and not asked to do from my own selfishness, fear, greed or other motivation) for another being, then the chance of missing Him will be less.

Deo gratias.

Convert Now!

Repent!

Hate that word, but then repentance seems to be all about being guilty. Guilt doesn't work in correcting behaviour, me thinks, as it only suppresses. There is no epiphany or insight. There is neither joy nor enthusiasm. Guilt is a tool in the traditional Rewards and Punishments approach to behavioural correction. Guilt sucks.

Yet i read today on the Jesuit site Sacred Space that we have a translation issue. Metanoia, the Greek work from today's mass reading for 'repent' could/should be translated as 'convert':

Convert: Middle English, from Anglo-French convertir, from Latin convertere to turn around, transform, convert, from com- + vertere to turn (merriam-webster dictionary)

‘Repentance’ implies not just regret for the past but, much more positively, a radical change to one’s way of thinking and behaving. It translates the Greek word metanoia ... of which the nearest English translation is something like ‘conversion’, a turning around to a completely new way of seeing life (Sacred Space).

I'm all for conversion! It's positive. It's a genuine motivation for change that an individual chooses and who, having experienced the benefits of his transformation or turning about, reinforces his intent and willingness to carry on a conversion each day of his life. Like a rebirth, a conversion implies letting go of the old and taking on the new. A process that moves forward, moment to moment. Grace provides the space for new growth. Love nurtures it. Basically, guilt can't even compare for effectiveness!

Thank you St. Peter.

Deo gratias.

Confirmation

God is not dead.

Of course He was only dead in my fearful mind. Jesus Christ has risen. Happy Easter!

I would like to share the advice given to me (what i can remember) and the group of catechists for confirmation and first holy communion, by the Most Reverend Bishop Jan van Burgsteden SSS. After asking about my profession, and nodding, the amicable elder suggested going into the mass without either physical stress or mental stress. Let go of reason, thinking, which will of course be very important, but not now. Let go of reason and be truly present for what happens. Listen. Don't think about what is being said, rather let the words enter, calm and inspire. He confessed that he always went into mass not thinking about what he wanted to say, rather, he simple read, line by line, from the Bible and let the Holy Ghost inspire him. He took his time getting to know us, just as he did on his visit to the catechism course when he spoke on the Holy Ghost. This was a powerful night for us and all we had to do was be open to it, he said. Open our hearts and let the ever present Holy Ghost in and know that on this night hundreds across Europe were opening their hearts through baptism and confirmation and prayer. We were one.

On the confirmation name 'Franciscus', he smiled. A holy man and patron saint of this church, St. Franciscus Xavier. Did i know about him? A great man to be studied and admired for following Jesus.

Later, at the altar rails, he grasped my hand and congratulated me with my path. St. Francis, a poor man and yet so very close to Jesus. A huge man and yet so humble. If i applied myself to getting to know this saint from Assisi, he had much to tell. Listen. Then he and the other priests laid their hands on our heads. Upon my head. Warmth. Intimate. Powerful.

Later, kneeling before the seated monsignor at the altar, urging me to come closer, shooing away others who might be listening, my forehead wet with oil, my noise full of the scent of cinnamon, he whispered to me once again. Did i read the morning paper or watch the morning news? Don't, he suggested. Listen instead to God in stillness, God who was always talking to us, but are so distracted and self-interested that we don't hear Him. Listen and let His Holy Spirit in.

Then the renewing of our baptismal vows with water: front and centre, we bore the brunt of this enthusiastic bishop's first 'sprinkling' of the congregation. I smiled as the water ran down my face. He would have us all plunged into the Jordan, me thinks.

I wish i could remember more, but the ceremony happened so fast ... even if it was a marathon of two and a half hours!

Like St. Francis, i didn't expect to be a different person this morning. The Lent fast has meant a lot to me, the confirmation a highlight, yet these mile stones are passed on the way. It is the way that changes a person who is open for change. It is a process like the fermentation of grape juice into good wine. 'A pilgrimage', pope Benedict often calls the Christian life. Letting go of distractions and worldly things so that one can focus on that which is real and true and life-giving, such as the poor, bare-footed mendicant St. Francis. Transformation with small steps, vigilant, mindful, with setbacks yet also with insightful contrition, always forward together with church and of course our guiding light, the Christ, Jesus of Nazareth.

Deo gratias.