Never Alone

Jesus says to the frightened neophyte apostles aboard a boat on stormy waves 'Do not be afraid' (Jn 6-20). He announces too, 'I am', just as God announced this to Moses. 'I am' resounding across the universe, time and space, existence established. Because God is, Love is, then there is no fear, i reason, because fear we create in our own minds. Fear coming from doubt and a threat to the Self, ones own private world of walls and defence mechanisms. Christ is now. His light cuts through the dark and reveals fear as merely a shadow.

St. John writes later: In love there is no room for fear, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear implies punishment and no one who is afraid has come to perfection in love. Let us love, then, because he first loved us. Anyone who says 'I love God' and hates his brother, is a liar, since whoever does not love the brother whom he can see cannot love God whom he has not seen. Indeed this is the commandment we have received from him, that whoever loves God, must also love his brother. (1 Jn 4:18-21)

Love is inclusive. We are all of God, created by Him. If we love God, Creation and the Light, then there can be no hate or fear. As lost beings finding our way back Home, we will know hate and fear, doubt and Selfishness, but these too, are shadows, me thinks, obstacles on the path and illusions created by the ego to protect all that the ego knows, namely Self (Ego's reality is the Self, maintaining 'who i am' at all costs). Thus, loving God, we love all Creation. When the tempest of fear drives us back into our Self away from reaching out to others, or any emotion that separates us from the Truth of Unity in Love, i suggest reconnecting with prayer, re-minding with the help of the Holy Ghost who always is with us, and knowing as clearly as 'I am' that God is and there need not be fear.

Like the apostles, travelling with Jesus will show me wonders both simple and grand, but it will also bring storms and fears as i willingly give up more of my own Self to discover who i really am, as countless saints have discovered. And even in those storms where i feel most vulnerable, He is there for me and i am not alone.

Deo gratias.

Orthodoxy

Orthodoxy.

Often this word makes me smile, with respect, but also with discomfort. The ultimate 'clinging', me thinks. Those unwilling to let go. Their resolve can preserve ancient traditions and cultural expressions, but it often seems to be from the inside of a well fortified mental resolve never to bend. Exclusionist in attitude, arrogant and very much fearful, there will be no surrender.

I consider the current discussions between the Vatican and the traditionalist Catholic group Society of St Pius X (SSPX). Reading about people's feelings about the possible inclusion back into the Church and their discontent about changes made to the Church and worship after Vatican II, i get the impression that they see themselves as orthodox Catholics, indeed, some even make this statement.

When the early church first split, how emotions must have run high! Greek versus Latin, East versus West. Then again division in the Reformation. 'United we stand, divided we fall' is the saying, so too with Christ, me thinks.

In today's reading from Acts 5, the Pharisee Gamaliel warns his brothers of the Jewish high court before they would condemn two apostles to death: For if this endeavour or this activity is of human origin, it will destroy itself. But if it comes from God, you will not be able to destroy them; you may even find yourselves fighting against God.

What is the voice of God versus the voice of ego? Goodness versus Self-preservation? Love versus fear? Compassion versus anger? Wisdom versus blind Self-interest?

The Jesuits of Ireland comment on this reading from Acts in this way:

This kind of phenomenon occurs constantly and is frequently seen in our Church and, like Gamaliel, we should have confidence in the principle that, in the long run, the truth will always prevail.  We sometimes get very concerned about new ideas or new movements that surface in our Christian communities but the same principle applies.
In current debates about married priests, women priests, problems about marriage and sexuality we should be confident that in the long run the truth and justice here too will win out, whatever decisions are made. (Sacred Space)

What is seen as liberal now, may well be seen as orthodox in the future. Everything of man and of this world is in constant change. Change is a fact of life. It is change that frees us, but can cause much suffering. I'm not for throwing the baby out with the bathwater, but if change is a part of life, than to resist it would be foolish. Embrace the good in change, try with wisdom and compassion to guide that change which might seem to be less desirable. Indeed, wisdom is required to direct the changes that we can affect. Love is needed to accept the changes over which we have no control. Let us pray for balance between the two. Let us fight less with our brothers and neighbours and listen more to each other and to the Holy Ghost.

Deo gratias.

On Wrath and Refuge

Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life,
but whoever disobeys the Son will not see life,
but the wrath of God remains upon him (Jn 3:36)

What is the wrath of God? Fire and brimstone and total destruction? Perhaps, but it could be more subtle, like a continued separation. By ones own choice this cloak of darkness is maintained, alone with ones ego against the world, in isolation, death without hope, death without peace, this road is suffering.

And to obey the Son? Love thy neighbour and to love God? To see God in all men and to be compassionate and to know loving-kindness to the sick and poor, young and old and even those that you might see as your enemies? To forgive and show mercy just as He forgives and shows mercy through the grace of His Father? In a materialistic, cold, selfish and fearful world that claims to desire peace for all mankind, obeying the Son seems like common sense. By choosing the primacy of ones own Self before others, one creates separation and distance. By choosing the primacy of ones own Self before God, one chooses a path of sorrow and tears, frustration, blame, anger and the absence of Love.

I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall be ever in my mouth. Taste and see how good the LORD is; blessed the man who takes refuge in him (Ps 34)

So we choose to take refuge in Him, voluntarily. May i be so bold as to suggest an adaption to the Buddhist refuge ceremony? No offence meant, rather cohesion, meeting and understanding.

I take refuge in the Son
I take refuge in the Father
I take refuge in the Holy Ghost.

By saying these words out loud, we create. What do words create? A bond between our own free will, the flesh and the Spirit, me thinks. We submit to that which we freely acknowledge is greater than us: God, Creator, One, Love. We join with others under this same place of refuge to know peace and relief from suffering. In the Son, we acknowledge our Teacher. In the Father, we acknowledge the Wisdom of Grace, Mercy, Hope and Eternal Love. In the Holy Ghost, we acknowledge our church, the community of faithful, the sap of the vine that unites us all throughout the ages.

Deo gratias. 

My Own Disposition

The Holy Spirit gives a spiritual understanding of the Word of God to those who read or hear it, according to the dispositions of their hearts (CCC 1101)

What is the disposition of my heart?

God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him ... For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come toward the light, so that his works might not be exposed. But whoever lives the truth comes to the light (Jn 3)

From John we hear today that God has not given up on mankind. Made in the image of the Divine, mankind seems to have chosen its own ego-centric path. Thankfully, i have been shown that there is more to this world than taxes and shopping. The temptations of materialism and Self-identity are wide avenues, busy thoroughfares, sometimes festive, often cruel, lonely and painful for those who can't keep up. It takes a bit of healthy madness to say 'no' to their reality. Saying 'yes' to a narrow and difficult path is madness. And as the lie crumbles and the truth is revealed, my heart knows there is no turning back.

But am i doing enough? I have opened doors and windows to let the light in, yet am i filled with the wisdom of the Holy Ghost? Am i still too distracted by the comforts and anxieties of this material world around me and the chatter in my own mind that the divine presence in me is overwhelmed and thus rendered mute?

Again it comes down to awareness of Truth and acting within its framework, or, just becoming a better man. Prayer and meditation are good. Partaking in Church and the Sacraments are good. Transforming my life, either slowly or quickly, but always wholeheartedly and definitively, is good. Reaching out to help others who are lost in their own wilderness is good. And when my burden is lessened i pray that the Holy Ghost can then ring clear and true, guiding me on my journey home.

Deo gratias.

Post-Easter Blues

The post-Easter crash ... what to do, what to do. The disciples apparently had the same problems in the wake of loosing their Teacher and finding Him again. Open to the Holy Ghost, letting the Word of God fill them, it was up to each one of them to 'do' something with this new Way.

Selling my property and equally distributing it? Giving up material comfort and security and its anxieties in exchange for a simpler life? Perhaps not as radical a change, but still i must consider how to combine the Way with the life i now live.

Some things might have to be let go or left behind. A simpler life with less 'stuff' could ease stress, such as around theft, insurance and damage. Another job? Another best friend? All significant changes needed to clear the air of mist and cloud, that the road be made visible. Ones motivation is important; examine this before burning any bridges. However, the chief argument for doing nothing is fear: fear of loss, fear of change, fear of the future, fear of failure, etc. And the funny thing is, the Christ has come to tell us to fear nothing! Light cuts through any darkness. Love conquers all.

How to maintain the momentum of Lent and Easter in my daily worship? That's the key, me thinks. Daily, that is every day giving it more than just a passing consideration. Of course the big things in life should get ample consideration, but it's the little things, the words, the thoughts, the routine actions that will trip me up, again and again and again.

An epiphany on the road like St. Paul is not something i expect. The bliss of Christ's appearance to ease my personal doubts as he did for St. Thomas, is not likely. What can i do for Christ now? Come closer. Remember what is important. Change. Make an effort that counts here and now in this material world. Be love in His name.

What to do?

Lots.

Deo gratias.

Doubting Thomas

Anicca, the Pali language word for 'impermenance' or 'change', everything changes, nothing is permanent. Suffering occurs when we fail to live this way, clinging to what must change or running away from that which must change. The universe is a process of birth and renewal, or samsara. Seasons come and go, mountains become plains, humans are born and die just as stars are born and die. To resist these natural cycles is to create suffering in ones mind.

How then are an eternal God and our immortal souls changing?

Today we read of St. Thomas the apostle doubting the resurrection of the Christ. 'Seeing is believing', we hear often enough, yet Christ says Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed (Jn 20-29). I can see that the seasons come and go, that babies become adults, that my hair is getting grey, that the world is ever changing. That the universe is changing, I'll have to believe the astronomers; i can see the sun moving and the moon and on clear nights some of the neighbouring planets, but an expanding universe? I believe it, but i have not personally seen it. That a virus causes HIV, i believe the scientists and the symptoms, yet i have not seen the virus itself. Jesus was born and grew to be a man and was was killed. I am no different than Thomas, who might want to believe, but is tripped up by his own mind.

Of course everything on Earth is in a state of change, but God is not of this Earth. I have not seen my soul, nor the soul of any other man for that matter, yet i have seen the human body filled with life and then empty at death. Life came and went: the Buddhists describe this state of having 'life' as 'consciousness', thus at death there is no longer consciousness. The Buddhist will also tell you that this 'consciousness' also travels after death, very much like a 'soul'. Words and concepts struggle to describe that which we cannot see, me thinks. We cannot see God, just as we cannot speak about His nature ... yet we can. We can see Creation. We can know life and growth and death, know change, know love, know what we reap from our the loving-kindness we sow. Do we need know about the growth of black holes or new viruses to be closer to God and live in His Truth? These are potential distractions, creating arguments that feed doubt and discord in the mind, hardening the heart with fear. 'Seeing is believing' is the safest course of action, it might seem.

The Buddha did not waste much time on trying to explain that which cannot be explained with human reason and a human tongue. His emphasis was on getting ones own house in order, for only then can one have room for the profound understanding of Truth, or enlightenment. Personal experience was the best teacher. Go and find out yourself! Know with ones own certainty. Reach out and touch mankind first, rather than getting lost in thoughs and doubt. The danger of being like Thomas is waiting for a sign. The pragmatic Buddha might just say there are no signs, only the signs that you yourself experience in practising compassion in your daily life. Practise, not just sitting around thinking, doubting, fearing, but initiating concrete action fit for this material world. Know change. Know the cycle of life. Walk as the masters of compassion walked. Do as they did. Personal experience will open our eyes. We shall know. Jesus seems to say too, 'Believe! And then you shall be blessed by sight!'

How has the eternal God changed?

I hope to ask Him myself.

Deo gratias.